quelejosestoy

I have been back in Oaxaca since Wednesday, five days. This means that I have thirty-five days remaining on my sabbatical — not that I am counting.

But I am counting both how far I am from home and work and all of the things that are familiar as well as how far I am from the woman I was when I arrived.

Having survived a botched gall bladder surgery (which resulted in me carrying around a bottle, connected by tube to my insides, of my own bile for three weeks), I am strong and far from the weak and pitiful woman that emerged from the hospital.

How far I am in growing my lexicon. How far my language has carried me — down dusty streets and into strangers’ homes.

How far I am from worry and from the kind of petty stress that I carried with me before Oaxaca taught me better.

How far I am from knowing what anyone, including Heather, will do next.

How much farther will I go?

This sign is for a restaurant and bar on Calle Reforma, but it is also the lyrics of a Mixtec Song. You can listen to a remastered version of it at the link, and you can read the lyrics and my (attempt at) translation below.

http://www.amazon.com/Cancion-Mixteca-Lejos-Estoy-Remasterizado/dp/B002B1IAA8

Cancion Mixteca
Por T. Lopez Alaves

Qué lejos estoy del suelo
donde ha nacido
intensa nostalgia invade mi pensamiento
y al verme tan solo y triste
cual hoja al viento
quisiera llorar
quisiera morir de sentimiento.

Oh, tierra del sol, suspiro
por verte
ahora que lejos
yo vivo sin luz, sin amor.
Y al verme tan solo y triste
cual hoja al viento
quisiera llorar
quisiera morir
de sentimiento.

My Translation:

How far I am from the soil
where I was born.
Intense nostalgia invades my thoughts
and seeing me so alone and sad
each leaf in the wind
would like to cry
would like to die of regret.

Oh, land of sun, I sigh
to see you so far away
I live without light, without love.
and seeing me so alone and sad
each leaf in the wind
would like to cry
would like to die of regret.

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