The other night we went to a groundbreaking for Verge Center for the Arts (http://www.vergeart.com). One of the art pieces is titled: “Battery Hen.” The piece is described as a “domestic appliance” that is for “labor saving decision making!”

The instructions start off just as the TSA scanning machines do with participants standing on footprints and following additional instructions which include:

2. Ask a “yes” or “no” question.
3. Gently pull clothes pin handle until egg drops.
4. Reach through safety window to retrieve answer on egg.
5. Return egg to black basket.

M and I both asked questions; the handy domestic appliance laid two yeses for us.

The black basket brimmed with ovoid ayes.

I immediately recalled the domestic appliance I always wanted from Santa, the Magic 8 Ball. This ball, filled with an antifreeze looking liquid could deliver fortunes and answers to life’s yes and no questions. However, the hen’s direct “yes” seems far more certain than the magic ball’s sometimes waffling or baffled responses:
● It is certain
● It is decidedly so
● Without a doubt
● Yes definitely
● You may rely on it
● As I see it yes
● Most likely
● Outlook good
● Yes
● Signs point to yes
● Reply hazy try again
● Ask again later
● Better not tell you now
● Cannot predict now
● Concentrate and ask again
● Don’t count on it
● My reply is no
● My sources say no
● Outlook not so good
● Very doubtful

Will Santa ever bring me a Magic 8 Ball?
“Cannot predict now.”

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