Image of Fruit Bat Man from:

Saturday morning in Seattle, my friends’ young son was, despite the prolific sunshine, not happy. Resolved that he didn’t want to go to track practice, didn’t want to see anyone there, didn’t want to be consoled, he balled up onto the couch, resting on his knees and face.

I decided to ask him to help me assess poems for my Creative Writing class. I read him the instructions and then carefully pronounced each poem, and he decided most of the responses merited A’s for the sound of the words.

During our exploration of my online class, I showed him the lecture for the week, directing his attention to an article about two girls and their list of rules:–abc-news-parenting.html.

And then we set about drafting our own list of suggestions for living:

1. Only scream on roller coasters (and other things like that).
2. No hitting.
3. No pushing.
4. No biting people or animals — or the dentist (inspired by the girls’ book, and probably already covered by the people part).
5. More yodeling.
He didn’t know what yodeling was before this, but I half-heartedly suggested it as a rule, so we looked at a tiny yodeling cowgirl on Youtube, and he decided: “Yes, more yodeling.”
6. More fun.
7. Say nice things.
8. No complaining. Less fussing.
9. No guns.
10. No robbers.
11. More dancing.
12. More friends.
13. No mean people.
14. More trees.
15. Less pollution.
16. More Fruit Bat Man, more funny things.
17. More laughing.
18. More sun.
19. More soccer.
20. More hot dogs.
21. No crying about things, only people.
22. More surprise attacks: Boo!
23. More cooking.
24. More drawing.
25. More chickens, more eggs (he already has five chickens: cupcake, oreo, licorice, icee, and gummy).

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